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The Green Mile

060915: A question I frequently ask my juniors and people looking at some advice from me, is "what are your hobbies". Interestingly, eight in ten would be stumped with the question and start searching for a response - basically they don't have any hobbies. One in ten responds with the humdrum lines of music, net surfing, watching TV, "playing". Barely even one would actually state something interesting or meaningful or even relevant for the expected maturity levels. I believe, a healthy and evolving mix of hobbies is important to strike the right mental sanity in the monotony of what one faces day in and day out. Hobbies are that virtual cozy corners that one likes to slip-in at the first available opportunity, where everything you do excites you and rewards with instant and immense satisfaction, irrespective of 'progress' or lack thereof!

Collective Conundrum Syndrome

181013: For long, I have been fascinated by an old saying – “If you live long enough with horses, you start looking like one!” Question is how long does it take? Modern management and sales initiatives rely extensively on workshops and brainstorming sessions to collectively collate the best presentation.

In reality however, what is described as the “best” is merely a belief from a set of persons, who after repeated hammering across of their points, at some point fall in line with the rest and believe that their point is inclusively made. What it means is that collectively, the set of persons have merely managed to polarize themselves into the group belief. It is not surprising hence that it is possible to tear apart almost any such supposedly “best presentation” if independently reviewed by a third person. The articulation turns out to be putrid, topics garbled, customer interest inevitably missing and everybody seems to forget to spellcheck ! This is what I call, “the collective conundrum syndrome”. The “best” is defined by the sum-product of team’s collective intellect, with law of diminishing return applied – that is, longer the duration of workshops or sessions, lower the value add, lesser the incremental innovation. Long enough sessions tend to bring in “binding” amongst team members, a natural human instinct to huddle perhaps. As a result, the disruptors get lesser and lesser effective and team members increasingly begin agreeing with each other. This can prove catastrophic if the end presentation is not independently reviewed.

Independent reviews are a must, if the presentation really needs to be the best of the best. Kabir, the famous Indian poet said, “Nindak niyare rakhiye aangan kuti chhawaye , bin pani sabun bina, nirmal kare subhaye!” -- keep a critique handy, build a hut for him in your garden if you have to – but ensure you have someone who is able to reflect back the imperfections in you, so you can improve! However, independent reviews are not entirely out of danger. Sometimes, the third person may not be entirely up to speed on the dynamics and fail to connect with the ground realities, which only the immediate team is in a position to appreciate. The ability to sift through useful review comments still vests with the primary team. But it is important that the team is open minded to seek and evaluate the observations from the independent reviewer.

So, have you today planned for an independent review activity in your project plans?

Difference with a smile - literally !

040713: Usually I am very meticulous in planning for travel - air travel these days being what it is. But it was pouring the day I was to fly out of Heathrow, London, and a mix up with underground train direction meant, I was rushing in through airport entrance and all - and was aghast at the long queue at check-in.

Curiously, even upon kiosk check-in, there was no separate counter for luggage drop and I had to wait in the long queue for luggage drop. By the time I was through with check-in and rushing through the security check entrance, I happened to 'pass through' what I would call a dumb technology gateway. Apparently the Airport had recently installed a new security setup, which verified through face recognition that the person who checked in and entered security area, is the same person actually boarding the aircraft. I must have been glum and tense with every passing moment and slender time left to reach the gates. Anyway, luckily, the far end security counter was indeed empty ( a trick you learn in crowd travel - most crowd just follows the person ahead without applying mind !).

Finally, I reached the gate in time and presented my boarding pass. But the system just would not recognize me ! The guard there was quite patient and courteous, and asked me if I had removed my glasses or did any other change to face ... for the system was not recognizing me. Somehow, intuitively I offered, saying, I don't know, maybe I wasn't smiling ? and saying so, became glum again - and there went the green beeper ! We both had a hearty laugh and parted with "next time, please remember to smile !" Indeed, technology is too dumb to understand the science behind emotions and a smile !

Festival of colours (Holi) with the Moon

290313: On the rare occasion that we do get to see and appreciate the beauty of an orange full moon - it was exciting to watch the tantalizingly beautiful Orange moon today. Not to compare with a blue moon effect - but this was one piece of breath-taking beauty.

Excited, I rushed back home to share with my family. I posed this question to my kids - why do you think is the moon Orange looking ? My younger one - not to be outdone, was quick to response - it is simple - the rabbit (on the rabbit face Moon) has obviously indulged in a merry Holi festival - hence the orange colour.

Now I had two breath-taking events to take in - the lovely orange moon, and the equally awesome response from a 5 year old. Who says you need colours to play holi with ?!!

Courage to do what is right

100912 : The pressure build was immense, expectations set very high, too much at stake. The head of ISRO apparently did not miss to visit the highest of deity in southern India, just to be sure, and why not ? Situations like these can use all the help one can muster, divine included !

Sunday's launch of the country's 100th Space mission by ISRO was a grand success, but not the usual "Text Book" ones they are renowned for. Something different happened this time. Exactly two minutes before the launch, the Inertial guidance system warned of a possible clash with space debris, if launch were to continue. A quick decision later, the launch was promptly deferred by two minutes, to let the ominous object in flight path pass by harmlessly, and then the launch continued as planned. This small delay of two minutes was by no measure a simple decision. The ability to take such a bold decision takes immense courage and belief in self. What is right, is right and has to be done - without compromise. This subtle but hard difference is all it takes to separate the successful from the almost successful ones.

In our day to day life as well, we pass through many a deciding moments such as these, when we encounter difficult options and are pushed to make a choice. Some of us buckle under pressure - ranging from social to political and end up compromising on virtues, ethics, safety and quality, ending up with half hearted results, and ultimately blame for the situation.

Courage is an inherent quality to achieve success, more so in leadership. Being courageous is not something to do with going out looking for risk and trouble; it is about having the guts to stand up for values, ethics and commitment, even if you are to take difficult decisions. That gentlemen, differentiates winners from the also-rans !!

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220612 :POSITIVE THINKING : 7 EASY WAYS TO IMPROVE A BAD DAY: Had a lousy morning? Things looking grim? Not to worry. The rest of your day need not be a disaster. It can in fact become one of your best, providing you take these simple steps:

1. Remember that the past does not equal the future.

There is no such thing as a "run of bad luck." The reason people believe such nonsense is that the human brain creates patterns out of random events and remembers the events that fit the pattern.

2. Refuse to make self-fulfilling prophesies.

If you believe the rest of your day will be as challenging as what's already happened, then rest assured: You'll end up doing something (or saying) something that will make sure that your prediction comes true.

3. Get a sense of proportion.

Think about the big picture: Unless something life-changing has happened (like the death of a loved one), chances are that in two weeks, you'll have forgotten completely about whatever it was that has your shorts in a twist today.

4. Change your threshold for "good" and "bad."

Decide that a good day is any day that you're above ground. Similarly, decide that a bad day is when somebody steals your car and drives it into the ocean. Those types of definitions make it easy to be happy–and difficult to be sad.

5. Improve your body chemistry.

Your body and brain are in a feedback loop: A bad mood makes you tired, which makes your mood worse, and so forth. Interrupt the pattern by getting up and moving around. Take a walk or eat something healthy.

6. Focus on what's going well.

The primary reason you're convinced it's a bad day is that you're focusing on whatever went wrong. However, for everything going badly, there are probably dozens of things going well. Make list, and post it where it's visible.

7. Expect something wondrous.

Just as an attitude of doom and gloom makes you see more problems, facing the future with a sense of wonder makes you alive to all sorts of wonderful things that are going on, right now, everywhere around you.

Courtesy : LinkedIn / Geoffrey James.

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201110 : PEACE TO A DISTURBED MIND : Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake." The disciple walked up to the lake.

At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink." After about an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "see what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own -- and you have clear clean water!!"

Our mind too is like the lake water...When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time; it will settle down on its own !

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101110 : LANG-YOU-AGE : TO BE OR NOT BE, IS THE QUESTION : A rich Indian 'lala' (traditional Indian Merchant) Seth Banwarilal from Benaras (Varanasi) was once invited to Mumbai.

The organizers of a trade fair had arranged for his stay at Hotel Oberoi Grand in Mumbai. This was the first time in his life, he had stepped out of Benaras - on a special invite from his trading group, to attend an International business exchange. After checking in, he took a fast lift to reach his room, on the 27th floor at the Oberoi Grand. He was feeling very elated at a chance to meet merchants from all over the world, and maybe, win a couple of business deals.

Next day morning, dressed in his best silk dhoti and silk cap, he was ready at 8:00 am, for breakfast. As he was riding the lift down, an English gentleman joined the lift on 26th floor. He was wearing an immaculate business suit and a Hat. The Englishman bowed, and gently half-raised his hat and said ".....how do you do ?"

The Seth was perplexed. It never occurred to him that he did not know a word of English ! Not to be outdone, he thought hard - what could have the English man asked him ? After a little thought, he decided, that perhaps the English man asked him his name. So he promptly replied " BANWARILAL !" To this, the English man gently smiled in response.

It just so happened, that everyday in the morning, the two met in the lift, and the Englishman as usual bowed with raised hat, saying "...how do you do?!" and the Seth replying happily with a smile "BANWARILAL !"

However, after three days, it stuck to the Seth, why would someone ask his name every day in the morning !! "This surely was some kind of a wish or greeting !" "What a fool I have been !!" the Seth thought to himself. However, not to be outdone, he thought of a plan.

In order to know what the response to the greeting is supposed to be, the next day, before the Englishman could say anything, he uttered loudly "......HOW DO YOU DO ?!!". The Englishman, a little startled, smiled and replied back "......BANWARILAL !!!"

All said and done, I am sure, it was a day well begun - with a huge smile - both for Seth Banwarilal and the English Gentleman for sure!! Language is merely a medium of interface between two living beings - A mother's smile is enough for her baby..... a cat's gentle purr is enough for her master.......the gentle touch on muzzle is enough to express love for the cow. Yet, we don't expect the baby to answer back "I love you Mom !!" .... or the Cat to talk .... "Thanks Master" ...... or the cow to say " You are a nice master ".

The gentle giggle of baby, a smile on the cat owner's face and a satisfied "MOOOOOO" by the cow, is enough to bring back and understand a satisfying response!! The real purport of a communication, needs to be felt... rather than merely understood; and often this happens without understanding in literal sense - but only in virtual sense.

So friends, I would say, go ahead, dare to express yourself freely in YOUR chosen form of expression. Let there be no barriers......between friends !! Rest be assured - our friends only mean good for the rest of us ! Cheers !

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041010:OF LIMITATIONS AND DEVOTIONS : After a habitual early morning bath, as I entered the Puja room, my younger one who just woke up, tottered right behind me - she wanted to hold the agarbatti (lighted incense stick) and offer it to God. Mockingly, I asked her "...have you taken your bath ?". She stopped, pondered for a moment, and replied very innocently - "....yes ! I did take a bath yesterday !" . Frankly, I was stunned by the response. Indeed it is true - these are all man made limitations on bathing everyday and entering Puja house only after a bath. I am sure, God wouldn't mind if we missed our bath for a day or two, provided, we had total devotion in our hearts !!

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040910: SIGNIFICANCE OF PERCEPTION : It was a cold and dark night of winters. On the outskirts of Rishikesh, a man clad only in dhoti was lying prostrate on ground. There was not a soul in sight, but for an owl perched on a tree branch nearby.

Light from a distant street lamp cast enigmatic look on the face of the feeble looking man. A small obscure looing bundle of his belongings was lying nearby.

Even as the wise owl watched, a drunk passed by. "Ho ! what is this ?" He said aloud. "My dear friend, looks like you too have been tipsy, eh?!". "But not me, you see... I am 'wisher' than you and did not drink as much as you did....and unlike you, I still remember the way to my home !". And saying so, he quickly left the scene, lest a passing patrol caught him for being a nuisance and jaywalking. The wise own hooted.

In some moments, a thief running from his recent heist almost stepped on the man. He stopped and looked intently at the man's face. He said to himself "Oh!... looks like this guy too must have robbed some place and running away from police, has fainted here in middle of road !" He quickly thought of an action plan. "Let me grab whatever he has stolen, and start running quickly - as the police chasing him is sure to reach the spot soon !" And saying so, he grabbed the obscure bundle lying on road, and ran like the devils were chasing him. The wise own hooted.

Then came by a sage, wearing simple ascetic clothes and having only a Kamandal and an armrest in his hands. The moment he spotted the man, he stopped. "Ho ! what is this?" He looked intently at the man's face and said, "....look at this man, how far he must have travelled to reach this pious place of Rishikesh ! Ah ! what devotion - if only I were half a devotee as he is !" And saying so, he sat down besides the man, and tendered the man's journey weary feet. The wise owl hooted and flew away.

As in story, very often the situation at hand depends on how we perceive it. Our perception of another person is perhaps a reflection of what we ourselves are. Isn't it time we learned from the experience of the wise owl and learn from the way we form our own perception of situation and people ?!!

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020910: EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS : The name Khushwant Singh needs no introduction. One of the best authors India has produced - and I personally have fond memories of having read his stories as course books during my school days. At times atrocious in literary sense, KS's stories have made long lasting impression on me. I was therefore quick to publish his eight point writing produced below, on happiness. KS having lived a reasonably contented life, was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. He drew up a list of a few essentials as below :

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH. If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

2. Second, A HEALTHY BANK BALANCE. It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one's own eyes.

3. Third, A HOME OF YOUR OWN. Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4. Fourth, AN UNDERSTANDING COMPANION, be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE to descend on you for gup-shup (idle talk). By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIES which can bring you a sense of fulfilment, such as gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is criminal waste of time.

8. Eighth, every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten to go over what you had undertaken to do.

"RICHNESS is not Earning More, Spending More Or Saving More, but ...RICHNESS IS WHEN YOU NEED NO MORE !!"

(Credits : Khushwant Singh)

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040810 : Is E-Governance a Solution ?: Currently, the biggest missing factor in Indian governance is discipline. E-Governance can be a tool, but not an effective one till discipline is inculcated into the affairs of the state. Stephen covey rightly says, the 8th Habit is the human voice - free and fair - which the E media has helped bridge slowly but surely. Good public governance comes with ability to voice (free) opinion coupled with action - which eludes E media. Like famously commented in a popular movie, it is customary for most to talk endlessly over coffee table and call politics as a dirty ditch; few dare to wade in - in an effort to cleanse. My point is, E media alone may not help for three reasons - one, it has to be backed with concrete actions, which pure finger tapping but action shy populace cannot deliver; two - we are still riddled with enormous illiteracy both E and 3R; three - we are far from any kind of discipline in any field of governance (sadly, defence included). We need to start at the very root by knowing who is an Indian ! (Hope Nandan's efforts will solve this one!). Then build the bricks of injecting discipline and sense of responsibility in every single Indian - only then free and fair voice using E media will be able to deliver a practically good Governance.

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251208 : "Nine Principles of Purposeful Living" : Purposeful living, as opposed to 'just existing' is what wise men advise. To live life is more than just existing through your routine. We ought to know what is best for us by growing instead of just getting by. Here are nine simple methods that can help us practice this value addition in our lives - the 9 principles of purposeful living to live by :

[1] Do not worry - for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities. Worry is a negative state of mind which deals with the same problem over and over again, yet nothing is solved.

[2] Do not be fearful - for most of the things we fear never come to pass. Fear is the opposite of confidence. It is also another negative emotion where it deals with uncertainty and loses heart easily. How can one win when one feels defeated even before the game has started?

[3] Do not cross bridges before you get to them - for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this. Deal with each problem as it comes, you can handle only one at a time anyway. Let God's will be done, not ours. What will happen will happen for a good cause. One cannot deal with unseen problems though one can learn to troubleshoot.

[4] Do not take problems to bed with you - for they make very poor bedfellows. Problems are not solved when one goes to sleep; be rested proper to have your energies and spirits renewed to stand tall to face all challenges the next day.

[5] Do not borrow other people's problems - They can take better care of them than you can ! This may sound selfish, but it is true. There are numerous other people's problems beyond one's expectations and understandings. Learn to tackle your own problems before giving a hand to others. Solve our own problems before minding other people's problems.

[6] Do not try to re-live yesterday for good or bad - it has already gone! Concentrate on what is happening in your life today. There is no use crying over spilt milk. Be geared towards moving a step at a time. 'Yesterday was a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, Today is ready cash, Use it to the fullest!' That was what people used to say.

[7] Be a good listener - for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is very hard to learn something new when you are talking. We have a pair of ears but only one mouth. Be patient to speak before understanding. Our mouths serve us best when in accord with inner conscience where Truth dwells.

[8] Do not get bogged down by frustration - for 90 percent of it is rooted in self-pity, and it will only interfere with positive action. Self-pity is the web that spins miseries and traps oneself with their 'self-dug-pits' or dungeons. Slithering snakes and crawling insects will be your friends while in the darkness of frustrations.

[9] Count your blessings, never overlooking even the small ones - for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one! For every blessings known to you, there are hundreds more that you don't know. Have heart in all you do. Always be grateful in all we have. Gratitude is a virtue for all. Gratitude is a key to peace of mind and heart.

(Credits : Unknown Author)

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141108 : One Should do this more often : In today's fast paced lifestyle, people often forget to enjoy the joys and pure pleasure of simple and healthy living. A simple relaxed moment with smile on face is forgotten in favor of the daily soap on TV. A calm evening walk in the park is forgotten and visit to discotheque gets priority. Remembering and calling friends is out; people would rather visit loud noisy parties for that artificial happiness. Have we paused and thought of taking in pure un-adulterated joys of simple things in life....... maybe at least we can try.... certainly not impossible. Here's a list of things, which people should do more often !!

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Sleep for 7 hours.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Play more games and do regular exercise.

6. Read more books than you did last year.

7. Take time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

9. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Face your challenges boldly.

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. You always have the choice. Do the right thing !

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Learn to forgive - this will bring you peace.

26. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Learn to be prepared

28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

29. Spend more time with you family, children.

30. Too much of anything is bad. Don't over do - keep limits.

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050908 : "Lessons from the Geeta ": Here's a beautiful writing I came across in a web site. Point to note, the relevance of the Geeta even in today's times: "About work and working man, Gita has a nice

philosophy - You can attain peace (or salvation) even if you don't renounce work and the society. You don't need to be a monk or a priest. You can perfectly be a family person, fully into social activities, yet you can be more than a Saint. How?

Every work which you do, do for the sake of God, for the satisfaction of God. Gita says, whatever task you do which is not for the sake of God becomes a cause for your bond to this world. And bond or attachment in this world is nothing but pain and suffering (because the Primordial Bond of human soul is with God, thus all other bonds are suffering). Look at West (also in the East now a days), people are so much into their work and career that they hardly enjoy life. They are so stressed all the time with money and everything !! The reason of that suffering is due to excessive attachment and affinity.

Gita says, you have the right for work, but you should not seek the result (the result will come if you are sincere enough to your work). I love this idea because most of the time we become too engrossed about the result and it diverts our attention from the actual job. That is also the teaching of Buddha : to be always conscious about 'NOW'. Not past, nor future. And if we do that, every action of ours become so perfect !! And according to Gita's teaching, work without attachment leads to the freedom of the soul (Nirvana in Buddha's teaching).

And how to do work with a purpose connected with God ... when you engage with any work, just say, "In the name of the Merciful and Beneficent God". And God willing, thus every work is considered as an act of worship."

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020808 : "The Honest Witness ": Here's a beautiful story with lesson for all of us in it-"A gentleman once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God.

Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" asked the gentleman. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?" The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I know it and God knows it!"

Moral - The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not. Excellence is a drive from inside, not outside. Excel at a task today - not necessarily for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and positive Development.

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050708: "Faith and Toil": Here are some beautiful lines from a College speech, contributed by a good friend.

"To have more of life that you truly want, you must first become more of who you truly are. The best is the authentic life. Never betray yourself. Take off your social mask and have the personal bravery to present the real you to the world. The world will be richer.

Our outer lives are nothing more than a mirror image of our inner lives. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. Live in your heart – its wisdom never lies. Follow the quiet promptings of your heart, and you will be led in the direction of your destiny.

Care for yourself. Do something each day to nurture your mind, body and spirit. Build human connections. Focus on helping others achieve their dreams and be more concerned with selfless service rather than gratification. You are here to enrich this world and you betray yourself once you forget this truth.

Leave legacy. The deepest longing of the human heart is the need to live for a cause greater than oneself".

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270508: "The Fear of the Unknown": Here's an article by Meredith Keeney, a motivational writer and author of The Right Path newsletter. Published in general interest, with full credits to the author.

"In most people there is a deeply seated fear that prevents us from taking control of our lives and shaping them to suit us. It is a fear that keeps us average, keeps us doing all the same things everybody else is doing, simply because it is the familiar thing to do. The fear of the unknown.

You probably know that exact feeling I’m talking about. That flutter in your stomach, that vague discomfort when you get close to the edge of familiarity, that warning in your head that can be so easily misinterpreted as a valid red flag. You know what I mean.

There are parts of our minds and natures that have a single purpose: To keep us safe. These parts are trained throughout our lives to discern between what is okay, and what is dangerous. When you accidentally touched the hot stove burner or iron as a child, that safety center learned from that. When you strayed too far from your parents and they called you back with that tone of worry and fear in their voices, that safety center in your head heard it and learned. Unfortunately, most people’s safety centers have gone a little too far in their learning. The lesson you probably internalized was “if it is unfamiliar, it could be dangerous. Only trust the things you know.”

The result of this, is that when you get too close to the edge of what’s familiar, your brain sends off all the same warning signals and red flags that it would if you absentmindedly got too close to the hot stove. It’s there to protect you, but it also is keeping you fenced into a safe little circle away from opportunity and growth. What can you do about this?

Some people can break through this fence, ignore the warning signals, and seek new opportunities. There is a rush associated with this behavior that beats any drug. It’s precisely that feeling of danger that provides the rush. Unfortunately, most of us can’t bring ourselves to fling ourselves headlong through the fence (or at least not very often), so is there an alternative for the rest of us chickens out here who are not happy in the fence, but not impulsive enough to throw caution to the wind?

Yes ! We have to make the unfamiliar feel familiar !!

That may sound strange, but it is very possible. It takes no money, no special skills, just a few minutes each day. The only thing you need for this simple technique is your imagination.

Sit down somewhere quiet for a few minutes (if you have rambunctious children or a crazy schedule, you might have to do this in bed each evening or even when you have a few minutes to yourself in the bathroom). Close your eyes and think about the thing that has been scaring you. Don’t worry about the fear of even thinking about it. In the privacy of your imagination, you are totally safe. Imagine step by step, doing the activity that has been giving you the flutters. At each step, stop and ask yourself what could go wrong at that point, how likely that really is, and what you can do to avoid the problems. What you are doing is looking around for the monsters outside the fence and seeing if there really is any danger to worry about. Once that is done, you can imagine yourself doing the steps to your goal, visualizing in vivid detail each bit as if you were actually doing it.

The results of this technique is that you can do something over and over again as many times as you need to until it becomes so familiar that there is no fear involved. What you are doing is essentially extending the fence to include wherever you want to go. This is something you can do again and again, making the fence bigger and bigger to include anyplace you wish. The biggest benefit is that rather than throwing yourself headlong through the fence and then possibly discovering all those problem and “monsters” that you mind had been warning you were there, once you have already committed yourself, instead you get to scope out the terrain bit by bit, and by the time you meet an obstacle, you generally saw it coming and already know what to do about it.

There are some people out there who have no fear of the unknown, and who can simply decide logically what they want to do and do it (I know, my mother is one of those people), but for the rest of us, this little technique can take the fear and trepidation out of the unfamiliar. Give it a try, I am sure you will like the results !!"

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260408: "Live Life Fully Mantra - How to stay young" : Here is a simple guide to Carefree life full of simple joys. I found this gem of an article in the 'junk mails' that float around (Edited). This may appear as one of those 'bindaas' attitudes. But looked at from the right perspective, this certainly has some hidden tips on healthy wholesome life. Happy life-living !!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG : It really is sort of simple:

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. (That is why you pay them !) Be happy, that is important !!

2. Keep only cheerful friends & good company. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches !!)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's !

4. Enjoy the simple things in life. A simple evening walk with family will bring you greater peace than a $100 lunch at downtown restaurant, trust me !!

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath !! And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive !

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, friends, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares? But do share this with someone.

Cheers !!

What really is Happiness ?

020408: Found this in one of the routine forward mails.

This is taken from a a very popular management thoughts book, I read long-long ago.

Cheers !!

Limitations - Key to Identity

020308: Every aspect of this world has one key component - a limit - something that defines it within a given parameter. In my opinion, there are only two dimensions in world which have no limitations - the Universe, and our mind's imagination (Article 180506); and even there, imagination finds it's match against Universe - for it is only Universe, which is truly un-limited - the real infinity !! OK ! Fine, everything is limited in our lives - our money, our life, our relations, our time, our salary, our patience - everything comes with a "Limited" tag. Looking at this limitation, with a dash of imagination and a pinch of philosophy, comes a question to mind - Can one use the concept of limitation to one's advantage ? I stress on the word 'concept' because, it is probably difficult to use the limitation itself, the very definition of limitation says, it has limitations !! Maybe.... maybe not ! Here is a theory I propose, to make the best of the concept of limitation (not the limitation itself) towards one's benefit. But before I elaborate on this, we need to deliberate a little on the limitations itself, for our clarity of understanding.

In our day to day life, we define limitations - consciously or sub-consciously - to everything around us. Example, eating food on time, is a limitation - you do not eat, then, something is amiss or wrong. Behavior depends on person - with boss you smile all day long - with subordinates, you may be stern looking all day. We define routines - from waking up in the morning, down till the first snore the following night. For some, probably everyday passes more or less identically like the previous one, and the one before that, and maybe hundreds before that. I would call these Dynamic Limitations (DL) - limitations which are dynamically variable within a given range.

Others come with their fixed limitations. Example, office timings, choice of colleagues, choice of food in cafeteria etc. Something, which is pre-defined and definitely out of your area of influence. I would call these Static Limitations (SL) - limitations which have little or no flexibility even within the given range.

Here is a fact - when we live within these limitations, we define our own identity - and this is exactly what happens in lives of countless ordinary people. My question - what is it that successful people do differently ? Successful persons also live within same limitations, but they reflect better spirit, better zeal for life and do things which takes them far ahead of others, within the same set of limitations as anyone else in the team !!

Certainly, they cannot live outside the limits - simply because, that would probably not be acceptable - a student leaving his class to attend class of another teacher ? Ruled out ! A person taking a seat in his Boss's office, because he is bored of working at his desk ? Forget it ! A person taking a different bus because he does not like the looks of this driver ? Possible, only if you have time and can risk being late waiting for another bus ! How then can this situation be improved within limitations ?

Here is the answer - simply by redefining the limitations ! While these can be practiced only with Dynamic Limitations, there is perhaps a little scope in Static Limitations as well. By choosing to stretch the limitations, you make your environ dynamically variable and at some point of this time, your limitations will automatically get re-defined. Here's an example how:

Case A: Mr. X is a very sincere person, performs his duties well, and is a good husband, father and person and lives his day to the point. He walks into his office everyday at 9 - works as directed at his same desk with routine job and leaves sharp at 6 to head home - tired and emotionally bored. Here his wife takes some toll on him, his children draw some patience - watches the predictable serials on TV for 2 hrs, and then walks like a robot to his dining table - finishes dinner, reads the share market report for some time and before you know, he is snoring on his bed. On weekends, he diligently takes his family for the weekly shopping, eats outside - Sunday mornings are spent at Church and rest of the day is spent quietly at home - a little anxious at the back of mind to begin the week again the next day.

Case B: Mr. Y is a person similar to Mr. X, and in fact works at a cubicle next to Mr. X. However, he loves to live his life, even with the same routine. His adventure for the day starts even before reaching office. He has a choice of taking his daily bus, or the quick tram or maybe for a change, start early and walk to office. On days that he walks to office, he learns new things - the new Restaurant down the block - the poster on the wall screaming heavy discounts in a certain Toy Store etc. Unlike Mr. X, Mr. Y walks in physically a little tired from the walk, but mentally refreshed due to the exercise that it caused. His gait naturally has a sprint from the walk which brings cheerfulness on his face - and the morning wishes to the staff en-route to his cubicle, naturally evokes a more sincere response than the formal "Hi" from Mr. X. His work for the day starts, and his boss calls him - and just happens to murmur that its his son's birthday and he is not sure what and where to buy and Mr. Y is more than glad to mention the Toys discount store ! The Boss naturally is glad, thanks him. The Boss's happiness, increases the zeal in Mr. Y as well and practically re-sets his tiredness factor at that moment to Zero !! So naturally, he is fresh even at lunch time, and talks with his colleagues with a natural sparkle in his eyes. It is human nature to be drawn towards positive people and people full of energy and it is this energy which radiates back to Mr. Y from his colleagues, giving him that much needed respite from boredom. As the day draws to close, he catches the bus home, and tells his wife about the new Restaurant - the entire family is excited, and a quick plan takes them to the Restaurant. Incidentally, the restaurant being new, had a secret offer to extend 50% discount to its every customer that day - how was the food - does not really matter - but the fact that the family is enjoying Monday like a weekend, mattered and everybody is happy on the walk back to home. The family sleeps that night with a smug - self satisfied sleep and not a sleep disturbed by the anxious plots of a scheming villain from the TV serial !! Of course, needless to add - the entire family wakes much more refreshed the next day!!

Do you think this was luck for Mr. Y which changed his day ? No. What changed his day, was his decision to live by re-defining his limitations - the dynamic limitations. What happened later was a string of events, which may look disconnected for the untrained eye, but knowing the background you know everything was linked !!

What I have given is a very-very elementary form of re-defining the DL. If one looks carefully at the life and stories behind success of successful people, we will find many such real life examples of success. Even after being the richest person in the world, is anyone naive enough to believe that Bill Gates does not work or works any less ? He works equally hard (If you can, read his memoirs). There are times, when even he sits beyond office time, ends with a tired day and has challenges beyond his capacity. Some of the ways I have found in which successful people re-define their DL are:

Unlimited Possibilities - Successful people are characterised by flexible mindset. They do not walk into a meeting or a situation with preconceived notions or mindsets. The have the tremendous ability to look at the situation, with the given variables, and take a decision different from accepted practices, if required. I always quote a line in Hindi, "Bhed chaal nahin chalna chahiye" (comparable with "walking a well tread path need not always be the best way"). The very fact that a person rules out pre-conceived notions, means, he has challenged the limitations that come with it - and is thus capable of taking unique decisions. The DL that is challenged here is mindset and pre-conceived notions.

Gaining Knowledge / Information - while an average person does not even think about additional qualifications / learning experience after joining mainstream career, successful people pursue their hunt for knowledge - by attending sessions, earning certifications, learning art (maybe some musical instrument) or just reading books authored by wise men and women. No successful man is just "a Graduate" or a "Post Graduate" - his list of physical qualifications and intellectual knowledge run very-very deep. The DL here - knowledge & qualification - stand challenged.

Planning - Unlike popular belief, planning the day ahead does not mean planning every activity of the day. It merely means planning for the milestones ahead. The gaps between the mile-stones are dynamically filled - in a totally un-predictable manner. For example, meeting with client, need not always be a boring PPT in a sound proof office chamber - as an option left open, more meetings over lunch succeed than in boardrooms. The DL here is routine - which gets challenged.

Space for Relationships - In real world, everybody needs his or her own space. Unlike in school / college days, where a friend could risk being labelled persona-non-grata if he did not join for lunch as usual; this does not happen in real life. A change helps and having a different team always brings freshness in environ. Believe me, talking for one hour every day with your close friend, straight for one year, is not a good way of having 'close friendship'. If this is unavoidable, say as in office environ, this can be achieved by different combinations and different approaches to handling the same situation. The DL here is approach to relation - which stands challenged.

Adventurous - Being adventurous doesn't always mean going for a hike and dangling on a rope from a hill top. Adventure simply means, to meet the challenge to do an unexplored activity and try something new. Trying a new Restaurant, also, I would say is an adventure. You risk your money - but possibly, you get the thrill of a great new menu ! Walking to office for a change could be risky - you may get late or tired. Writing a poem or an article is risky - you have probably never written in your whole life and somebody could laugh at you ! or maybe, you might actually discover a hidden talent ! The DL here that is being challenged is perception of risk in daily life.

Breaking Routine - Most people live the life on a frighteningly predictable road map. Even our computers periodically need to be re-booted for refreshing the cache, then why not humans ? Even a simple five minute break from any task - with maybe a refreshing tea or a quick chat with a friend - can refresh our outlook and re-set our tiredness counter to zero ! Even a most skilled sculptor, doing a very fine and tricky chiselling, would need to step back, and have an overall look, before proceeding. The stepping back, refreshes the outlook on work at hand. The DL being challenged here is routine + perception/ outlook.

Extra Curricular Activity - One of the best method to make life more dynamic - is to have additional hobbies and interests. This widens social network, your areas of interest and gives more avenues to be an interesting personality, rather than being a person who talks only about office in weekend parties. Likewise, a game of badminton or squash twice or thrice a week refreshes the entire body. Unlike popular belief, you do not need additional time for extra-curricular activity - the only thing extra required, is your aptitude and interest! You do not have to have time, but find time for these. The DL being challenged here is interests.

Personal Relationships - An oft neglected area for average person, but which is not the case with most successful people. As in outside relations, personal relations also need space and deserve respect. Successful spouses are people who learn to live their life in their own challenging ways, yet keep the sanctity of dependence on partner; who find means to keep personal challenges of their own, which brings objectivity in their own lives. Children of course need to be guided by parents, but giving them their space encourages them to decide for themselves. A child who chooses a gross looking color of some toy, deserves to be respected for the decision. After all, the duty of parent ends there - in making sure no harm is done to the child as a result of the decision. The DL being challenged here is interaction limits in personal relationships.

Positive Attitude - Optimism and effervescence for life is the only medicine one needs for cheerful state of mind consistently. There are countless examples and quotes on optimism and positive attitude, and I need not quote any further on this. Successful people are very-very positive at events in their life and this they manage to do with attitude and perception. By attitude, I mean an open mind; by perception I mean the ability to look at things in different light. We often refer to the complete angle as 360 degree. But that is not the limit in real life. 360 degree is complete in only one plane, and in a sphere, there are infinite planes - in a three dimensional structure!! So no one can really have a "complete" outlook; but ability to extend your views from one angle to a different one, in a different plane helps to be able to see the situation from the view which best describes it positively. The DL that is challenged here is Perception.

Each successful person, has in some or the other way challenged the limitations that are consciously or subconsciously created, including some that we create for our ourselves. There is a very nice saying which says Winners don't do different things; they do things differently! It simply defines how winners actually challenge the limitations which seek to define the identity of a person with boring and predictable routine. They challenge the Dynamic Limitations, and gain more by different approaches - and in the process, graduate to different set of limitations in the form of success. The best part is, by reaching the level of different set of limitations, a person is actually reaching a position to be able to influence and challenge even the Static Limitations !! That is what an average person would call as "luck" ! But we all know, it is merely the ability of the person to challenge his limitations, and define his own unique identity as a person with unlimited possibilities !!

"I cried for shoes, till I saw a man without feet..."

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